04.08.02/3:45 p.m./a sad, sad tale.
beats !!

The Tragedy of Yourmomma
a sad tale about a boy and his misfortune.

once there was a boy named Yourmother. his friends called him Yourmomma or Yourmom for short. not that he had very many friends.

see, Yourmom had social anxiety, and for a good reason. being with people of his own age (a ripe 13) always found him in quite a predicament. somehow, he was the butt of every joke the kids at school made, and he didn't know why! nothing they were saying about him was true, nor did it have any relevance to the situation. here are some examples.

scene 1: billy and joey are in a fight outside on the sidewalk.
billy: dana told me your dick was so small, she needed a magnifying glass to find it!
joey: oh yeah? that's not what your mom said last night!!!
Yourmom: (confused) guys, i never said anything!
billy and joey: SHUT THE F*CK UP DICKWAD.
(Yourmom runs away crying).

scene 2: camille and caitlin are walking down the hall.
caitlin: who's that over there?
camille: your mom!
Yourmom: no guys, i'm over here!
camille and caitlin: SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS, SH*TFACE.
(Yourmom runs away crying, again).

even Yourmom's teachers made fun of him!

scene 3: teacher is trying to show the class a video.
teacher: why wont this VCR work? come on!!! i'm clicking the right button....oh wait, i think it's working!!....AHH NO, YOUR MOMMA WEARS SOCKS THAT SMELL BAD!
YourMomma: my socks smell fine!
teacher: excuse me? how dare you interrupt my class. go outside and think about what you just did, young man!
Yourmomma: but....but....WAHHHH!! (runs away crying for the third time).

but Yourmomma was learning to cope with his difficulties. he began to respond less and less when he heard his name mentioned, until soon he didnt respond at all. then came the day that Yourmomma's new found disregard would ruin everything.

it was the day before the school dance, and it seemed like everyone had a date except Yourmom. that is, everyone but Tracey, the girl that Yourmom liked. that morning he saw Tracey and Sarah talking, and decided to listen in...

Sarah: so who do you want to go to the dance with?
Tracey: Yourmom.
Sarah: hehehehehehehe.

Yourmom disregarded this statement, as he did every other statement that mentioned his name, and stopped listening. but Yourmom stopped listening too soon. if he had only listened to the next thing Tracey said...

Tracey: no, seriously, i want to go with Yourmom.
Sarah: really? as in the person? cool!
Tracey: Yeah, 'm just really shy, and i cant get myself to do it. i need *him* to ask *me*. maybe you could talk to his best friend, Myass, and tell him to tell Yourmom to ask me.
Sarah: Sure thing!

(5 minutes later, in math class)

Sarah: pssst! Myass! over here!
Myass: yes Sarah?
Sarah: Tracey wants to go to the dance with Yourmom. tell him to ask her!
Myass: okay, i will.
Sarah: My ass you will!
Myass: that's what i just said!
Sarah: no i meant...forget it. just tell him, okay?
Myass: yeah i already said i would like five times!

(Myass leans forward to talk to Yourmom, who's sitting infront of him)

Myass: psst, Yourmom!
Yourmom: yeah what is it Myass?
Myass: Tracey wants to go to the dance with you!
Yourmom: Myass, you just don't get it. they were only joking. Tracey doesn't want to go to the dance with me, she was saying your mom as a joke, reffering to *your* mother. you were supposed to laugh.
Myass: no really Yourmom, i think she actually wants to go to the dance with you! i'm not kidding, thats what Sarah just told me!
Yourmom: Myass, you are so nieve. will you ever learn?
Myass: but...
Yourmom: shh, i'm trying to learn! i don't want to hear it any more, okay?
Myass: okay but....whatever.

(Two days later...the morning after the dance)

Yourmom: last night sucked, i was so bored, i stayed home just like i do every night. and to make things worse, Tracey, the girl i like, and her friend were making fun of me. what a bummer.

(Somewhere else in the school)

Tracey: I can't believe Yourmom didn't ask me to the dance! i'm so upset. he must not like me!
Sarah: I told Myass just like you said to, and he still didn't! it has to be that he doesn't like you, there couldn't be any other reason.
Tracey: your right. if Yourmom doesn't like me, i should just forget about him. as of now Yourmom will never cross my mind ever again. onto the next guy!

And thus concludes the Tragedy of Yourmother, a boy who lost a chance with the girl of his dreams because he assumed things. the moral of this story is don't assume, things might not be as they first appear!