03.15.02//it's been fun, but i have to go...
beats !!

i knew i was going to be voted off this tribal council.

and some people say "i know i'm going to be voted off, i just *know* it!" in a distressed tone, out of nervousness. but the feeling i had that told me i was going to be voted off wasn't nervousness.

i havn't updated since the eleventh. i promised, in my application, that if i were picked to be on the diary survivor island, i would update every day, or at least every other day. but as my friend joe pointed out to me, i only was updating every other day BECAUSE of diary survivor...not because i had something new and interesting to say each time i updated. and of course, that shows. the thing about being a good diarist is knowing that you should only update when you have something to say...otherwise, you just sound stupid, plain and simple.

the past four days i honestly wished i wasn't on diary survivor. i felt nervous. i felt pressured to update. and i really had nothing to say, or the time to say it. my best friend Katherine is visiting from Arizona, where she moved last summer. i havn't seen her since then. this week is my first time seeing her, and will be my last time until this summer. i wanted to spend my time with *her*, not writing in my diary. also, i've had things to deal with in my personal life. shallow things that no one reading this diary wants to hear about. i knew no one wanted to hear about them, so i didn't write them. but i did think about them, and deal with them, which took time. i have a very large french project due soon, and i need to pull my grade up in french, so i have to do very well on this project. the things add up, and when the sum is as big as it has been the past four days, i don't have time to worry about writing my diary. and not having time to worry about writing in my diary is unexceptable when you're on diary survivor.

but until these past few days, i enjoyed diary survivor very much. the best part was meeting all the new, wonderful people. and i mean *wonderful*...these people were judged to be the best of the best in diaryland, and they really are. the worst part was writing that blasted IC, which took 2 hours, and not getting any votes for it (because it really wasn't very good). the whole thing was a great experience, and i will never forget it. i'm sad that i have to go - especially because this next IC looks super duper fun - but i'm relieved because all the pressure's off.

thanks to all the judges for choosing me to be in the contest in the first place. i am honored that you felt i was, well, good enough to be part of this contest. thanks to meg for hosting this wonderful contest. and finally, thanks to all the contestants for being such amazing people. i won't forget you guys, and i will continue to check up on you long after this contest is over.

with that said, confruzzled's flame is put out, and all watch as she descends from the tribal council area, not to be seen again until the end of the contest.

or, for those that read her diary anyways, until the next time she writes an entry.

you know, whatever.