07.01.02/2:26 p.m./the end of my drunken ways...
beats !!

various diarylanders (*cough* *cough*) who have made fun of me in the past for being a crazy drunk are going to mock me for this entry. just warning you. or, actually, just warning myself.

saturday night, i went to the local annual fireman's carnival with some friends. i hate big scary rides, almost as much as i hate carnivals, and so i figured it was going to be a bust. in honor of that, i decided to bring me a bottles worth of some fine italian liquor (Campari, for those of you who are crazy drunks like me), and i drank it all up. all of it. every last drop. so, for the time i was at the carnival, and for the time i was at this house party afterwards, and even when i came home, i was pretty gone. but the stuff wore off by around 1 AM. this dissapointed me, because i was in the mood to be under the influence.

then i get an instant message from my friend and neighbor zach, telling me i should walk over to his house so we can chill and get our drink on. and i was like, yay! because i'm a crazy drunk, and apparently getting drunk once in one night isn't enough for me. so i waited until my mom went to sleep, grabbed another bottle of liquor from the cabinet, (Bacardi this time - note: i had not taken the entire bottle of Campari before, since it's huge, but poured myself a water bottle full of it, and proptly returned it so my mom didn't notice) and went on my way to my friend zach's house. upon arrival, i drank 3/4 of my bottle of Bacardi, took a couple vodka shots, and had a nice cold bottle of Heineken. i then proceeded to enter the most extreme state of drunkeness i have ever entered in my entire life. zach had a lil' drinky drinky as well, but no where near as much as me. so then we chilled some more, i don't remember too much of what happened during that time, except for the fact that i got me some wild n' crazy drunk bootay, and then zach had to walk me home because i couldn't walk or see straight. when i finally got back into my house, miracle of all miracles, my mother hadn't waken up! i had succesfully pulled off a midnight sneak out/drinkfest/booty call without my mother finding out. i put the bottle of bacardi back in the cabinet, and went upstairs to go to bed.

that's when it happened. i was about to get in bed to go to sleep, when i felt something not so good in my tummy. i got up, darted to the bathroom, and began my first of 8 vomiting sessions i would experience in the next 24 hours. the first one lasted from 4 AM until 6 AM, and i think i fell asleep leaning against the toilet for a little, but i don't really remember. after that, i had a quite constant pattern of about a two hour break, then another barf-session, two hour break, barf-session, etc. all day sunday this went on. anything i ate came back up about 20 minutes later. i was so weak i could barely walk (there was not an ounce of nutrients, or anything for that matter, in my body). finally, at about 4 PM, i managed to succesfully consume a cup of chicken broth without spewing it out afterwards. that made me feel a little better. i then napped from about 4 until 8, after which i went downstairs and watched Point of Origin and Gone in 60 Seconds on various HBO channels on my satellite TV. i went to bed at about 1 AM this morning, and woke up at about 2 PM this afternoon. i ate a real people's breakfast, and yes, it did stay down. i finally feel like a normal human being with a properly working digestive system again.

thus ends my crazy drunk lifestyle. yesterday was one of the most unpleasant days of my life. i am not looking forward to repeating that again, and it seems that the only way to prevent that is to put a halt on the drinking. i don't know how long this will last, but i'm hoping i can keep it up at least until the end of summer. so say hello to the new 100% sober all the time ali. let's get this party started!