12.09.02/12:38 a.m./i suck, and no joe i am not depressed
i find myself thinking i am better than others my age. that i am more observant, more intelligent, more aware. it's quite the opposite, actually.
i'm going through a stage of self-improvement. when i have a feeling i don't want to have, i explain to myself in an organized way why this is not the feeling i should be having. if i start to feel superior, i simply tell myself i am not, and outline the facts of why this is so. i say to myself, if you were superior, you would not be grounded right now for doing unintelligent things and getting caught for them. if you were superior, you wouldn't be lying when you told your step-grandmother everything was going great in school. finally, if you were superior, you would not have feelings of superiority, because you would be above shallow things such as needing to feel better than other people.
or lets say i get embarressed for something i said or did earlier in the day, that maybe did not recieve the reaction i intended it to. i would say to myself, alissa do not be embarressed. not only does it not matter what other people think of you, but i'm sure they have forgotten it by now, because you are not the center of the universe, and people have other things to do than think about things you said or did all day.
with such a logical approach, i think i may actually be succesful in what i'm attempting. i may actually have real resolutions this new years!