FUCK. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. i think im fucking sick. my fucking step sister gave me her fucking cold. fuck. fuck. and fuck once again. i have aparty to go to tommorow night. and my dad's all like "if you still feel this way in the morning we'll have to see about tommorow night". fuck.

are you aloud to curse on diaryland? hmm. ah well.

great way to start an entry huh? im sure you want to read on now.

guess what i did today? for my english project that i was gonna do the horseback riding clothes for that i didnt do. i wore pajamas to school today. with big fuzzy slippers. and messy hair. and no makeup. why? because the assignment was to do the opposite of your personality. i usually take an hour ot get ready in the morning. today i got up, but on slippers, took a piss, brushed my teeth and went to school. i looked like fucking krap. but everyone was like "ooooh alissa you're so cute!" heh. so as long as im cute i can dig it.

richard is a sweety. definately. i dont like him in that way, but hes such a sweety. and he's a great friend too. so why is he so intrigued by katherine's superficial, bitchy ways? its killing him. because shes too superficial and bitchy to realize how much she's hurting him. or to realize whata great guy he is. basically she's not worth his love and desire. for the sake of superstition, if richard can somehow feel me typing this, move on to better things my friend. because that's what you're capable of. better things.

i was just reading annato's entry. i remember when i felt that way. like life was pointless and everything dissapointed me. i always looked on the down side of things. but now i'm passed that phase. i realized how immature it was. yes, immature. im not saying annatto is immature in any way. i respect her very much, and from her diary she seems like an awesome person. but people with that attitude kill me. sure, it may seem pointless to sugar coat things. and i don't do that. but i try to always look on the positive side. it keeps me happy. it gets me more excited. it makes me want to get up in the morning and live my life. even if i am constantly let down. so what? being let down doesn't seem as bad if you don't let it get to you. i just found out the guy i love doesn't feel the same way about me. seems shitty. but then i just think that its better not to get involved with guys right now cuz i need to worry about school. and then i start thinking about a test i need to study for. and eric is soon forgotten. and it may suck so much shit that my dad got remarried and now he has two other siblings to devote his love to and that my mom refuses to call his house because she hates my step mother and that my siblings are super annoying. but then i think how lucky i am because while some poeple have to live with that full time, i get to go to my mothers for half the week and get away from it. and things seem positive again.

theres a positive side of things no matter what. it makes life more fun if you try to look on that side as much as possible. so why not do it? my life sucks a goats ass. but im still and incredibly happy, optimistic person. and i enjoy it. you just have ot have the right frame of mind.

i have to talk to frickin katherine. we made plans for halloween, but i dunno if were still gonna do it cuz shes probably going with katie and them, in which case ill have to curse her off. god i hate her so much right now.